Saturday, January 28, 2012

Girl Power 2012

Mel B was spotted this weekend shopping at none other than Chanel sporting a fabulous new look. The singer dropped a jaw-dropping 20+ lbs since she delivered her baby girl Madison last September. She was soon snapped up by weight loss giant Jenny Craig Australia/New Zealand to be their spokesperson for the coming year. They certainly feel no shame in taking credit for all the hard work this fierce and determined mom put in at the gym.

We're pretty sure though that Mel lost all that weight to be in fighting form for a top secret reunion in the works for 2012. No, she and Eddie aren't getting back together for more secret hotel rendezvous. It's a SPICE GIRLS reunion! It has been kept heavily under wraps for a few months now, with rumors swirling, but kept unanswered. Mel let it slip on the Aussie tv show Sunrise that the girl troupe are back on for upcoming shows this year, including the Queen's Diamond Jubilee Concert in London.

The fact that they were able to resurrect and convince Posh Spice, aka the very enviable Victoria Beckham, to reunite with women whose combined net worth she outshines is unfathomable. Victoria has never been much of a dancer or performer. Plus, she does not need the money, as I am sure Sport Spice definitely might. So, what is tempting this formidable socialite and fashion icon out of musical retirement? She herself has recently had a child, and she made it a point to not be photographed during that "awkward and embarrassing" point in her life. A woman so body-conscious and self aware should certainly think twice about attempting to publicly hold a note and even so much as two-step. They are all expect to wear their signature looks that reflect their personalities and personas from back in the day. If it all wasn't enough already for Posh to consider jumping from the nearest ledge. Scary Spice on the other hand is looking forward to lacing up her platforms and showing the world what an almost 40-year-old dose of girl power looks like.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

House of Rihanna

Our favorite Caribbean train wreck Rihanna is set to become the executive producer of a Project Runway-like series in Britain focused on finding new fashion talent. With a reputation for wearing little more than a bathing suit and nail polish, Rihanna is considered a major force in celebrity fashion, setting such trends as... Well anyway, she has made the raggamuffin look her own, where she blends in with the local crazies seamlessly.

Her latest contribution to fashion are these low heeled shoes with tape measure winding up her legs. Whether it us custom couture or just an art project of her own devising is unclear. With all fairness, Rihanna has become a victim of label-whoredom, donning these Christian LouBoutin tape measure sandals that are just a fashion disaster of any era. However, this is who Britain is putting their trust in to find a ground breaking designer who will change the face of the fashion industry as we know it... oh, and to bring in cheap Rihanna fan based ratings.

These photos were taken in L.A. where Rihanna recently tattooed her knuckles with the words Thug Life in the same way as Tupac famously did in the '90's. It has not been verified if the tattoo is temporary or not, but if this is how Rihanna is treating her own body, I can only imagine what her music career will look like in 5 years. How she associates herself with thuggin' is beyond me, considering she has been in the music industry since her teens and been sheltered and programmed by her label since then. At the end of the show's season, the winning designer will get to design a stage costume for Rihanna. I am sure all their creative input will be closely considered then edited, then modified, and taken over by Rihanna's own costume designers before the tour actually kicks off.

Definitely permanent

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Kardashian: "Are the gays and family shame for sale?"

Kim Kardashian has, out of the goodness of her own heart, decided to donate a whopping $50,000 to the Trevor Project, dedicated to tackling gay suicide.
According to "someone close to her" stated, "It's important to Kim to support The Trevor Project because lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people face extreme levels of hate and discrimination in her generation and she knows that they need safe places like the Trevor Project to turn for him."

Khloe: 5'10", Alex: 6ft
What generation are we talking about here? Here I thought Kimberly was a 31-year-old woman and Trevor was 13. We already know that Kim K.'s team are some of the biggest PR blabber mouths that have ever existed. They stop at nothing to announce every bit of positive, contrived press they can for these "ladies'" brand. Every source that releases a statement has been "close" to the family. Yes, of course none can be closer than Kris Jenner herself who physically popped each and every one of these reality show opportunist out, including Khloe Kardashian-Odom, who we learned yesterday is in fact the result of an affair between Kris and her hairstylist Alex Roldan. The resemblance is undeniable. It was later revealed that Kris plans on  making a huge, bomb-shell revelation about that fact on her show. One of the people close to production has decided to burst Kris' bubble by releasing the pictures and the truth about what Kris is up to before she has the chance to make her millions. Khloe has often said that she felt like the outcast of the family and it is clear why. Her looks, compared to that of her other three adult siblings, are highly suspicious, as she towers over the others and lacks that strong Middle Eastern undercurrent in her features. Whether she has known all along is unclear, especially since she attacked all who dared challenge her father Robert Kardashian's paternity rights.
Kourtney: 5ft 3", Kim: 5ft 2"
Kim's latest attempt to repair her sullied name by making donations that are a fraction of her own wardrobe at home is clearly to curry favor with the gays. Having a gay following is guaranteeing a loyal fan base for years to come, as Kim's following will soon turn 18. They'll lose interest in meaningless t.v. that they will come to realize doesn't pay bills and put you through school. Not every good deed needs to be displayed for all to see. The fact that they are trying to cover up the fact that they are publicizing the news is even more embarrassing.

*Red* our lips, Louboutin!

He may be a king of the fashion world, but Christian Louboutin is turning himself into a court jester these days. The shoe designer is fighting tooth and nail for trademark rights to his red-soled shoes. Dragging his close friend and president of the CFDA, Dian Von Furstenberg into court for moral support and muscle power. His claims to the intellectual property were rendered invalid by Judge Victor Marrero last August, but Louboutin just can not take no for an answer. Now three judges are presiding over his case to determine whether or not to overrule Marrero's verdict.

His bloated ego is out of control and it may be too late to bring him back to earth. Getting exclusive rights to a particular color is so nonsensical that I can't believe his "friends" *enablers* haven't tried to stop him. His shoes are already some of the most expensive on the market; not to mention the hardest to find a matching outfit for. People aren't only paying for the design of shoes, no. The are paying for that flashing red neon sign that says, "My shoe collection is worth more than your car and your husband's." so that they can have a sense of purpose in the world by being better than everyone else.

If these ladies want to pay for their modern day baboon butts, go right ahead. But know one thing: Whether you are wearing rip of Louboutins or real ones, most people won't be able to tell the difference. The ones who can't afford them are probably the people who you want to be envious of you. People who can think of smarter ways to use a small fortune, instead of using them to sprain their ankles and step in gum.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I'm every working woman
Bringing new meaning to her hit '90's song I Have Nothing, Whitney Houston has hit rock bottom and faces the ultimate insult to any diva, being penniless. Many divas before her have succumb to the growing expenses of keeping up an extremely exuberant lifestyle without singing a single note or contributing anything at all over a period of over ten years. Despite examples like the Arethas and Chakas before her, Whitney did not see this lesson in life coming. Stuffing her system with "allegedly illegal" substances has undoubtedly messed with her finances and her common sense. Going from being the world's highest paid female entertainer to begging for $100 dollars and shacking up with friends is an all time low for her, the marriage to Bobby Brown included. She is now begging her label for an advance on her coming album's earnings. With a voice that has become shaky at best and getting booed off stage, I doubt the record label will see heads or tails of that money. We can only hope that her latest venture into the film industry will pay off in her upcoming movie Sparkle which she executive-produced.

A secret source told RadarOnline:
"Whitney's fortune is gone. Music industry heavy hitters are supporting her and her label is fronting her cash against her next album, but no one knows when that will be released. She might be homeless if not for people saving her. She is broke as a joke."

P.S. I love the irony of that MasterCard logo in the background. 

Monday, January 23, 2012

Break a leg, Kardashian
She may be one of the biggest con-artists in reality television history, but Kim Kardashian is willing to lay down her life for fashion. She was spotted on her way to the NY restaurant Cipriani's along with friend Jonathan Cheban, whom she staged a falling out with on this season on Kourtney and Kim Take New York. Rocking platform Louboutin pumps, a studded leather trench coat with a Birkin bag close in tow, Kim Kardashian showed us what being rich and unaware of your surroundings looks like.  If it all wasn't ridiculous enough, she chose to shield her delicate eyes from flashing paparazzi cameras with black aviator sunglasses that night.
Sold out Versace for H&M
Her bare legs only put icing on this towering cake of superficiality. If this is her approach to winter in January, it explains her nasally and adolescent way of speaking. This poor girl is constantly congested yet she still makes the sacrifice of stringing words and inveracities together for the relentless viewers of her hit E! shows. She is a trooper and a definite Armenian-American hero, with the bad ass wardrobe to match.

Here's her most recent attempt to fool the public. Weeping over the impending dissolution of her marriage which lasted a mere 72 days. She tried last week to fool the public into thinking she was having marital trouble on her Dubai trip and staged a filming of a conversation with her mother appearing to take place in the shopping capital of the Middle East. Low and behold that scene was really shot in a studio in the States. More on that story here; in the meantime, drink in this poor attempt at an Oscar winning performance.

I wonder if she has a pay-per-tear clause in her contract. We all know she's a charitable money grubber.