Kim Kardashian, holier than thou

Howard Simmons for New York Daily News, edited by yours truly

Gasp! Kim Kardashian has announced her plans to start a bible study group. As if this woman wasn't exhausting herself enough with her good deeds, she has decided to lead other women on a righteous path. This comes on the heels of the buzz surrounding her mother's I Love My Friends music video from the 1980's where her alleged "baby daddy", Alex Roldan, worked as a hair stylist. In the video, while trying to hold a note, Kris Jenner mentions her going to bible study with her close friends, whom she by the way, loves.

Not to mention Kim's recent plea for the heart of a certain virgin athlete Tim Tebow who has been the news for his religious fanaticism and recent success on the field. Sources are reporting that Kim feels that Tebow could be her ticket to a new image. Tim has politely declined this serial-bride's advances citing her inordinately prurient past and carrier choices.

Something has apparently gotten into Kim, or at least her marketing team, who have decided to play the virtuous family card. Kim's obvious track sheet as being a promiscuous woman who would disrobe for a photoshoot if the price is right is not the issue here. The problem is that she feels that she is beyond reproach. Since she is Kim K. no one should apparently look at her sideways as the hypocrite she is for deciding to suddenly play Mother Theresa, now that her show's season finale is around the corner.

I am sure it will be a growing experience for all involved, including the bible study's founder Kardashian. Yes, Kim will take you through such books as Numbers, detailing the amount of children she could have fed with each designer bag. The book of Job teaching that having one isn't important as long as you have a great surgically enhanced ass. The book of Songs will be a treat for the group as she will relentlessly try to plug her failed dance song of 2011 titled Jam (Turn It Up). Last but not least, let's not forget Chronicles, where she takes us through her life's story of heartache, million dollar mansions and jet-setting.

I am sure they'll learn a lot.

Kardashian: "Are the gays and family shame for sale?"

Kim Kardashian has, out of the goodness of her own heart, decided to donate a whopping $50,000 to the Trevor Project, dedicated to tackling gay suicide.
According to fitperez.com "someone close to her" stated, "It's important to Kim to support The Trevor Project because lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people face extreme levels of hate and discrimination in her generation and she knows that they need safe places like the Trevor Project to turn for him."

Khloe: 5'10", Alex: 6ft

What generation are we talking about here? Here I thought Kimberly was a 31-year-old woman and Trevor was 13. We already know that Kim K.'s team are some of the biggest PR blabber mouths that have ever existed. They stop at nothing to announce every bit of positive, contrived press they can for these "ladies'" brand. Every source that releases a statement has been "close" to the family. Yes, of course none can be closer than Kris Jenner herself who physically popped each and every one of these reality show opportunist out, including Khloe Kardashian-Odom, who we learned yesterday is in fact the result of an affair between Kris and her hairstylist Alex Roldan. The resemblance is undeniable. It was later revealed that Kris plans on  making a huge, bomb-shell revelation about that fact on her show. One of the people close to production has decided to burst Kris' bubble by releasing the pictures and the truth about what Kris is up to before she has the chance to make her millions. Khloe has often said that she felt like the outcast of the family and it is clear why. Her looks, compared to that of her other three adult siblings, are highly suspicious, as she towers over the others and lacks that strong Middle Eastern undercurrent in her features. Whether she has known all along is unclear, especially since she attacked all who dared challenge her father Robert Kardashian's paternity rights.

Kourtney: 5ft 3", Kim: 5ft 2"

Kim's latest attempt to repair her sullied name by making donations that are a fraction of her own wardrobe at home is clearly to curry favor with the gays. Having a gay following is guaranteeing a loyal fan base for years to come, as Kim's following will soon turn 18. They'll lose interest in meaningless t.v. that they will come to realize doesn't pay bills and put you through school. Not every good deed needs to be displayed for all to see. The fact that they are trying to cover up the fact that they are publicizing the news is even more embarrassing.