Saturday, January 21, 2012

Project Runaway Bride

Heidi Klum and her husband of seven years Seal are calling it quits after 6 years of marriage.
With all of their family trips around town together as one big happy troupe, no one saw this coming.

The gravy train has come to a screeching halt for hubby Seal who cryptically tweeted earlier today "The end." He has gotten to live easy while Klum developed and successfully launched several television shows around the globe and built a fitness brand. Her nack and success in business doesn't seem to have crossed over into her personal life, as this Victoria Secret angel just can't keep a man. The couple has a tradition of renewing their vows every year. It seems more likely that they are trying to rekindle their marriage over and over again by doing that, rather than expressing their undying love. At least we can say they tried to keep it together after one year, but their efforts gave way in the seventh, all of THREE children later.

I can't imagine Seal has enjoyed playing background to his super model wife whose star power continues to balloon beyond that of any model before her.

I'm  sure going to miss seeing a pregnant Heidi Klum in every other season of Project Runway though, but with four rascals already running around, it's probably for the best.

*Update: Seal states he will not remove his wedding ring and asks public to respect their children.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Stupid Video, Nicki Minaj.

Nicki Minaj just released her music video for her possibly self-titled single "Stupid Hoe". It sounded educational enough, so I checked it out. She's done hinting at her massive rear end these days and is flat-out pushing it in our faces.
The design and aesthetic aspects were out-there. Lots of visuals, color and beautiful fashion concepts. The biggest feature of her look were bold and in your face lipsticks with her overwrought and fully fledged eyelashes. Leopard print was running rampant from her body art to her Antonio Berardis.
The lyrics were warmed up from her previous hits. Her sleezy prowling around in a cage reminded us more of Lil' Kim back in the day minus that little shred of self respect.
If she starts licking herself though, it might be time to put this Barb-cat down. I am a fan, but this one was a mistake, Nicki baby. Hype Williams used too many flashes of light to trick us into believing we were watching something interesting and dynamic.
Rating: Her quips were weak, her song was repetitive and I didn't understand how the video related to it, as usual.
Was she the stupid h*e for letting them talk her into this?

We recommend a more nude toned lipstick for Nicki in the future. We've never seen such abuse of dry, pastel lipsticks in our lives

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Royal Crackdown!

Princess Beatrice
Why did she have to ruin it for the rest of us?! When  planning a day at the races at the Royal Ascot everything has to be stunning. The entire look from head to toe is planned. You never know who you'll run into down there. 
A symphony of fashion wonderment is conjured in what can only be described as crude self-indulgence. Apart from your diamond studded clutch and jewelry to match, you have to adorn yourself with fabulous headgear. Everybody knows that!

Christian Dior Couture

Fascinators have been like cat nip to these royal-types for the past decade and finally someone has had enough. They're cracking the whip big time for these poor women of questionable taste, who only want to look their best.
The Royal Ascot horse races have forbidden hats less than 10cm at the base and that protrude over 30 cm from the top of the head. Strapless or sheer-strap tops and dresses will be banned without exception, along with compulsory suits and ties for the men.
"We want to see modern and stylish dress at Royal Ascot, just within the parameters of formal wear." - Charles Barnett, Chief Ex. @ R.A.
Dutchess Catherine Middleton

They are not pleased with the slip into decadence over the years and this is their way of rectifying it.
There might also be an underlying agenda here though. It might in fact be the recent increase of race horses keeling over from the accidental inhalation of these accessories that have sent the owners into a tailspin.
Just keep them away from the horses and everyone can have fun. Don't let the reasonable ones suffer with them.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

It's Beyoncé again: L'Oreal commercial

Beyoncé's newest L'Oréal commerical has just hit. L'Oréal has been releasing behind the scenes footage and teasers for the commercials for weeks and the real thing is now ready for the world to see. A seemingly pregnant  Beyoncé is giving us an intimate atmosphere where we get to see her newly flawless skin, thanks to L'Oréal. To be honest, I was bored and her random use of a deep, manly voice didn't entertain me one bit. The behind the scenes stuff was much more interesting, where  Beyoncé talked about her food temptations while passing by the buffet table on set and joking with an interviewer about her terrible French accent. B is a big ticket item and I'm sure it cost millions to get her to sit on that cold hard floor for hours, so I don't blame them for releasing as much material as they could to recoup some of the moola. The least you can do though is make the final product dynamic or at least thought-provoking and fresh.

As you can probably see in the thumbnail to the video, Beyoncé's heritage is listed as being African American, Native American and French. Her skin tone here is also very light and exaggerated by her honey blonde weave. It seems as if every time Knowles works with L'Oréal, a Paris based cosmetics company, they try to redefine who she is and put a more exotic, or let's face it, less African half of the American spin on things. They also used this same concept with Aimee Mullins whose heritage was a group of European ones, but let's face it, Beyoncé's team knows what they are doing. They are certainly trying to paint a much different picture of Beyonce than we've been used to so that she can be perceived in a certain way.
The cosmetic line is about there being over 30 shades of foundation so that no skin tone is left out. At this rate Beyoncé might have use for all 33 shades with a the tone-shifting she keeps doing.
They could've given Beyoncé a shade number or something like that, where she introduced herself as that weird number, like "Hi, my name is True Match 97" or something. That would've helped Beyoncé step away from some of the race-identity based critique she has had in the past working with L'Oréal.
I think this YouTube comment said it best:
"french beyonce? native american? girl...i guess you are after all of the surgery. carry on. there was nothing wrong with you being african american.": latai1983
I think she and her team are welcoming it all and it sure gives them more exposure as people work themselves into a frenzy about it.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Beyonce, Lighter than Ever

Beyoncé Knowles has sparked attention for her skin lightening efforts in the past. Her skin tone always seems to return to normal after a few months, but take a look at the newest promotional release for the relaunching of her 2011 album "4".

Sure she's retouched, but that's not all that's off. This photo was taken of course before her pregnancy and deliver of daughter Blue Ivy in January 2012. She seems to have dropped a bit more color than just her first born as she definitely seems at least "4" shades lighter than normal here.

Feb. 2011
When I first saw her emerge from her home in February 2011 in those blue Louboutins looking like Mariah Carey in a black minidress I was disturbed. However, I've since reasoned that it was probably done for another cosmetic purpose. Hear me out.
Loreal Campaign August 2008
There is a procedure called laser hair removal that removes unwanted hair from the extremities, back and all over really. As the laser attacks melanin found in the hair and naturally in the skin darker skin tones, which have higher concentrations of melanin, suffer severe skin burns. I figured she wanted to get the skin as light as possible in order to do a simple and permanent procedure once but now I begin to wonder what creative direction Beyoncé is headed in.

Close to normal tone
If she is reinventing herself and deciding to go in the direction of a blonde pin-up vixen with creme toned skin, be our guests but don't do it like it's the most natural thing in the world or as if we won't notice. It was long been rumored that her father encouraged Beyoncé to lighten her skin so that she would always be noticed as the lightest member of the group. With those values burned into her head it might be hard to erase them. Her tummy-tuck, hair weaves, nose job and common-place fakeness [nails, makeup, corsets, lashes, etc] that we women put on now and again are one thing, but lightening your skin is another.

What skin tone someone wants to be is their own business. With the sudden emergence of the new orange race, people have had to get tolerant quick. Showing tolerance for their terracotta hands and stains left behind on your furniture.
Beyonce, just keep it real and don't change a thing. If you're doing it for us or doing it for more acceptance or world-wide reach, then forget about it. Whether you're using the new skin lightening pills on the market, the new secretive and exclusive skin lightening spas sprouting up all over the country or the creams, it's still hazardous to your health.
If you're not lightening your skin again, then please pay people to Photoshop you that actually know what you look like and should remotely resemble at the end.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Politics and Fashion?

We thought only Michelle Obama's fashion was getting media attention but not anymore.
Jason Wu,
The campaign fashion is getting some time in the limelight now as a part of President Obama's sly secret campaigning.
Fashion baroness Anna Wintour of Vogue USA has reached out to designers like Beyonce, Marc Jacobs, Sean John, Vera Wang, Diane von Furstenberg and 15+ others to design Obama campaign merchandise. Of course they're over-priced, but the worse part is that most of them are just plain pouches and bags with a sticker pasted on them. If these designers were paid, there is injustice in this world.
Most of the designs are in fact grade school and thrown together. Check out the store to see them all.
If the President is going to appeal to the fashion lovers by attaching a bunch of designers' names to some give-away-quality items, then he's a smarter man than we thought. I mean people buy TERRIBLE clothing just because of the label all the time, so I guess they'll probably vote that way too.