Beyoncé 1st, Mom 2nd

Blue Ivy was so last season. You're excited about your gifts at first, but after a while they just get plain boring, especially after you never really carried them in the first place. But I digress, Beyoncé has made the hardest decision any new mother has to make, heading back into the work force. This only ten weeks after giving birth to her first and only child, Notorious B.I.C.
Boo peeked out  from her hide-out last night to attend Michelle Obama's election fund-raiser event in NYC where money was raised well into the millions. She was joined by her lovely mother, who remarkably looked even more stunning than her two daughters.

Without a stitch of post baby weight to be seen, Beyoncé strutted past fans who waited for hours in the cold to see her. Yes, that's the Beyonce we remember; her vacation is officially over. Starting May 24th, Bey Bey will be headlining three consecutive concerts at the new Revel Casino in Atlantic City. The star also makes her live come-back on memorial day weekend, so she has to get in tip top shape and baby Blue just doesn't fit into her busy schedule.

Knowles is planning on taking one final hiatus before getting back on her daily grind though. She has planned an over-the-top yoga-based retreat to Tuscany with gal-pal Gwyneth Paltrow. What those two have in common, the world may never know.


Sponsored by Berouge Cosmetics

Scott leaves Kourtney

Kourtney Kardashian is apparently freaking out over Scott Disick's recent depature from their home to his own bachelor pad. People are insinuating that Scott finds the pressure of being tied down to a pregnant, hormonal girlfriend too much bear. Kourt is devastated at the idea of being a single mom of two. A pal says: “He just can’t change. Scott will never grow up, they are best off apart.”

Who releases this stuff to the press? Kourtney Kardashian is no fool and neither are the rest of us.

Scott is moving out probably as a part of the upcoming season and we suckers are supposed to tune in to see what sparked this whole mess. Their whole family is like an overgrown, overexposed and even more poorly written Days of Our Lives. Besides that, Kourtney set herself up for any shenanigans she gets. What did Beyonce, who is trying for her 2nd, say after all? If you liked it then you shoulda what?

Problem?

Sponsored by Berouge Cosmetics

Bobbi Kristelina

Bobbi pulls an Angelina.
Nope, she's not bulimic, but it does relate to her possibly throwing up... at least she should when she realizes what she is doing. Whitney's baby girl has been in an unusual, co-dependent relationship with her pseudo-adopted brother Nick Gordon since her tragic loss just last month.

While incest is the opportune word, we have to remember that this 19-year-old heiress is not related to her new love interest by blood, but maybe they are after all related through grief.
The only explanation I see here is that she has always had a crush on this boy and finally he sees something in her and it rhymes every bit with ka-ching. He certainly holds and shares many fond memories of better days with momma Whitney which are invaluable at this time for little Krissy. Although Nick released a statement today saying their relationship is platonic, he is no doubt working a different angle on home turf. This especially since he found out that he was not mentioned in the will. The only person I feel for in this situation is mother Cissy Houston, who has spawned offspring that have chosen less than desirable paths in life despite all well-intended efforts. If there is a void, they will fill it with something more readily available and potent, no matter how many churches you parade them around in from birth.

Word of advice Bobbi, RUN and hide your money... I might know of a very inconspicuous bank account, fyi. Stay away from the spot light... oh, and never work with Oprah again. That woman has never been more self-righteous ever in life than she was in that interview special.


“We’re just close — just going through her mom’s passing and grieving together.” - Nick Gordon


Sponsored by Berouge Cosmetics

Lohan is Porsche Posh in Hit and Run

Lindsay Lohan loves to give back to the community. When she's not donning a tangerine jumpsuit helping clean up California motorways, she does her part by cleaning up after the party.

The ever thoughtful Lindsay Lohan decided last night that clearing the streets of shady club managers is worth risking her probation.

The renewed redhead has gotten tangled up in a hit and run accident, which left the manager of the Hookah Lounge dubiously hurt. 

Only after finding out that Lindsay was the one behind the wheel as she peeled out of the club parking lot, is when the 26 year old laid claim to injury. When the coppers showed up, LiLo conveniently found herself in the passenger's seat, despite the swarming paparazzi's shutterbugging away.

Will this destroy her probation? What does this even mean for her new roll as Liz Taylor? Seems like we need to be making a movie about Lohan's life instead... but the chapters never seem to come to an end.

Ratings:

Trickery in switching seats: F and a 1/2

Insisting on driving yourself after partying: F

Being typical: A+

Sponsored by Berouge Cosmetics