Odom: "Now we're up in the D-Leagues..."

Photo: Enstarz.com

Lamar Odom certainly isn't "movin' on up to the east side" in any sense of the word. It is starting to feel more like the D-Leagues in Texas, as the Mavericks have not been able to jell the newly traded basketball player with his new team since coldly being traded late last year.

Odie has gone from Lakers to Mavericks and now he's practically "little league". The poor guy has clearly been affected by that horrible disease known as "the Kardashians". Khlomydia was merciless as it ravaged this man's multi-million dollar career in under two years. His management is however attributing this downgrade to the effect the NBA lock-out, his adjusting to new surroundings and his elderly father's stricken state have had on him. They also added that they hope to see him return in full form shortly.

"I've had some luck lately..."

Downgrading your husband from winning the first gold in years for the U.S. at the FIBA World Championships and contracts with major fitness conglomerates to practically being the janitor is no small feat. We have Khloe's unrelenting reality show filming schedule and immaculate ball crushing genes to thank for it. Credit is also due to his newly found passion for being a make-shift socialite's husband on Cable television. He chose his poison. Though it won't be all bad. The team's owner, Mark Cuban, says according to TMZ "[he] needs to get in great shape and then rejoin the Mavs... D-League is rehab". I am sure his annual $8.9 million salary still stands, if that's any consolation. With any luck that will tide his label-loving wife, Khloe, over for two months or so. How ever will they manage?
This public humiliation and ego-crushing lambasting must be some sort of hazing for their new teammate... or at least payback for willingly parading and sullying his brand all over television.

Sponsored by Berouge Cosmetics

He shoots, SHE scores

Kobe Bryant has been carelessly dribbling his significant other's heart for years and there is only so much one woman can take. Bryant and the mother of his two little girls, Vanessa, are in the middle of a divorce stand off. It is all up to the Mrs. if she chooses to go through with the termination of their ten year marriage. The couple has been estranged for some time and this Laker's wife stands to rake in no less than $75 million if she pulls the trigger. The $4 million "I'm sorry" ring three years back was just a down payment, it seems.

Is heartbreak really worth that much money? Is it even fair to Kobe? Maybe she should have known what comes with the lifestyle and considered it the price to pay for being upgraded from Mundane Jane to Class A Kept Wife, through no effort of your own. It is ultimately Kobe's fault for abandoning the vows they swore to uphold and not to mention for not signing a prenuptial agreement. I guess he took too many balls to the head and wasn't thinking clearly. He is currently buying his wife everything under the sun, according to TMZ, in an effort to get back in her good graces. Can't say I feel sorry for him.

Trashy groupies too hard to deny?
Well, kiss your millions good-bye.

Get a whiff of Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez, now 42, hasn't hung up her perfumer hat as of yet. The 1/4 actress, 1/4 singer, 1/2 opportunist is launching a new fragrance to fill the world's nostrils with. The perfume, prosaically titled Glowing, plays of her one-time successful fragrance Glo by JLo.

The former Mrs. Anthony is quick to point out that this new scent is a more mature version of her first release. Her newest creative direction even utilizes a built in novelty feature as the atomizer glows when you press it. I get it now, so grown up and mature. Oh, and so kid-friendly too. Honestly, if that doesn't get an inquisitive child to unintentionally spray themselves in the eyes I don't know what will.

 “Glowing is such a clean fragrance,” Lopez told Women’s Wear Daily. “That’s what I’ve always been about. I like soapy, clean smells." Considering her recent lecherous extramarital affair with boy-toy Casper Smart I can see why she opted for a more purifying fragrance choice. Too bad though that no matter how many bottles of Glowing she goes through in a day, nothing will wash away all the shame of 2011. Deserting her infant twins to go indulge a younger man with expensive trips and gifts is by far the most ignorant rerun of Britney Spears I have ever seen.

So what does JLo really smell like these days?

"This is a very woodsy scent. So it’s not exactly what I created 10 years ago — it’s the evolution of that. At the essence, it’s still natural, earthy, clean and real, but a little different side of that. It’s the woodsy side of it, which I think is kind of New York-y, darker and sexier.” - Jennifer Lopez

Right, nothing says nature, clean or woodsy quite like New York City. Perfect inductive reasoning from a savvy business woman. I can only imagine the respect she must command from her employees at JLo Co, strutting into her boardroom to display the scent's promotional photo. The HBIC herself, stark naked and soaking wet for all to see, with her tumultuous personal life being equally as in your face and unscrupulous. You have to admit though, with her career choices, from her recent tenure at American Idol as a judge, raking in up to $20 million per season, clothing line Sweetface, and marginal recognition in both music and film, JLo can stretch a talent-less penny like no other.

JLo and Casper, Valentine's Day 2012

Khloe snags a dad

Good for her! or Publicity Stunt?

Khloe K.O. has since the beginning held on to Robert Kardashian being her biological father, despite convincing interviews from his exes and the obvious phenotypical evidence to the contrary.

Now Khloe has seen the light and I am sure, a definitive paternity test. Her father has now been confirmed as being non other than Alex Roldan. Kris Jenner's former hairstylist throughout the '80's and '90's. The website Hollywoodite might be the linchpin in getting this long awaited family connection to happen, as they had the good sense to do some digging and compare photographs of the two.

This not only gives Khloe a father figure in her life after the devastating loss and lifelong grieving over Robert. It gives Khloe a new family member to love amid the divorces and struggle with conceiving her own child.

I am not sure if this brings hope for Khloe's disposition improving or not, along with her cynical attitude, but this will certainly improve her self-esteem. Kris Jenner's keeping Khloe away from her father, even after the death of her "step-in" dad Robert, is unfathomable. K.O. does not seem to mind though, as she is all smiles in this unconventional family portrait despite the shame the characterless Jenner has brought on her family.