Beyoncé's Simon's Paula, $500 million deal

Someone needs to tell Simon Cowell to lay off the crack because he has been sniffing around Beyoncé's all week. The multimillionaire talent scout is looking to shell out a cool half a billion dollars to sign the R&B Bey on as a judge for The X Factor's second season. After publicly firing Paula Abdul, that terrible host, Steve Jones, and Nicole Scherzinger, Cowell is out for new, more famous blood. Throughout the years these talent shows have been about poor unsuspecting diamonds in the rough being judged by celebrities who had become "washed-up" as the say. Washed-up is a bit harsh, we'll go for irrelevant here instead. Simon clearly feels that his extremely successful shows, Idol currently running in its eleventh season, deserves a step up in star power. Enter Beyoncé. Just when we thought she could not get anymore famous, she took it upon herself to push out her first born this year, the floral swatch from her crotch known as Blue Ivy. That no doubt launched her into a stratosphere of her own; such interest in a pregnancy has been unmatched since Debbie Rowe's carrying Michael Jackson's two first children.

The controversy surrounding the "three term" pregnancy, where a flat-stomached Beyoncé pranced around in 5 inch heels, definitely helped whip the media into a frenzy and couldn't hurt ratings. Will Cowell snag Knowles? I think he's been on vacation too long and lost touch with his status, and most of all reality. He promised the show's producers last year to bring in 20million viewers per episode, but came up short with just over half of that. He since promised a bloodbath, and certainly delivered upon axing three members of the cast. I do not know if Beyoncé would be the most entertaining personality to watch though. She is so reserved and makes me quite frankly uncomfortable with her over-thinking of each word she utters. This deal would be similar to the several year, multimillion-dollar deal that Celine Dion signed. It would keep Beyoncé chained to the judges seat for at least five years. I would rather see her do a guest spot though, that would certainly provide a mid-season boost and keep her career intact. Keep in mind though, Kelly Rowland was a judge on the original X Factor in the U.K. so that might sway Beyoncé in her decision making.

Who could Simon realistically hire?