"Gaga makes us gag."

Lady Gaga's restaurant venture failed to impress food critics in New York this past Wednesday. The eatery, christened after Gaga's late aunt Joanne Trattoria, was found to be a slap-dash, over-hyped failure.
How is that even possible? Lady seems to know her way around food, claiming to prepare delectable home cooked meals for her closest friends on her vacations from Gaga Land. If her get-up for the 2012 Video Music Awards is any indication, this carnivorous caterer knows her stuff in the culinary department.

2010 VMAs

Or does she? Top restaurant food critic Steven Cuozzo of the NY Times wrote that Gaga's establishment was "running mainly on acrid-smelling burnt vinegar wafting intermittently through the raucous dining room." Quite the mouth full. Critics were unforgiving, throwing even the waiters under the bus, branding them as being ill-prepared and a waste of space. Despite the restaurant only having Gaga on board as a silent partner, with her parents doing the day to day grind, she is the only one being grilled for this. For the first time it requires a little more effort than just slapping your name on your endorsements and calling it a day, huh Gaga? Guests were made to wait over 50 minutes for their "fatty" food and Gaga did not even play lounge singer for her impatient supporters on opening night.


On second thought, that may have made digestion harder with her penchant for wearing mad cow disease-ridden pounds of flesh and dousing herself with gallons of blood. Maybe she should have just thrown her own self onto the grill?

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